When you don't loose someone close ...

It's pulling your heart alive ....When you loose someone very close to your heart....
I'm sorry I don't know how that feels....
I have never been to death house ... funeral or the ceremony .....
I felt bad for my granddad..... felt BAD ...that's it ....
But today ,  I just heard someone (very close to my heart) who lost their hero of their life.... and that pulled my heart out.....
That voice just ripped my heart out without any  anaesthesia .....I was awake and it pained...
We try our best in this shitty life to spend our time with the ones  We love ... We like ... our friends ..... our colleagues....
Yet somehow ......even when there are so many people to move away from us dead physically .......
It's just so painful to let go of the ones we love sooooooo much to heaven ......
This world is cruel to take away the ones who deserves to spend their rest of the life with us instead in  heaven ......
That's not right .....
Right ?????
I don't know if they would be happier there ....
This whole  being alive thing is just too complicated ......
Why are we born .....
Why should we go just like that .....
When nothing is enough for anyone alive ...taking them away is just cruel .....
Somehow looking through all the heart pain someone close to you ....is just fibrillating......

I thought world is cruel.....
But it looks like
God is cruel.....
Unfair feeling....

Xoxo
Consider being alive
Sussh