Respect is just a fancy label for love

My dad, a heavy headed man, who weighs his living so much on “respect” ...

You cannot just put your arms around his shoulder and call him “Ramesh”

You have to equally be at his level of thoughts, amicable that is, so so down to earth with pride and love, to be able to stand near him!

As a child I used to think ... isn’t that just absurd....

Then I grew up....

I grew up to be just like him.....

Yeah i regret to be short-tempered like him ....

Yet even with everything else i crowned myself with that pride too....

I realised.... only  people with the same level of pride self-respect and beyond that, who knew how to respect others as they expect to be treated .... could be closer ....

And thats respect ....

Not any suffix you add to show who is above you....

Respect evolves....

Evolves in your heart....

To others .... 

till it reaches everyone.....

Because, oh dear! You can never be above anyone as long as they, let you to be.....

Dont take that for granted.....

Respect if not reciprocated..

Is rather not earned....

Sussh

A week without your voice

Its been a week

And not to hear from you ....

I realise just how bad im at not calling or being in touch!

When your name pops up ....

I know im not going anywhere for an hour 

Because even that is not enough!

I hate calling

I hate talking so much!

But you taught us how much words move someone! 

Of all the calls i get and talk out of boredom! Of all the calls i miss purposely! 

You make it all stand out, in teaching me  how to talk and be rich in words ....

Be diplomatic! 

Because all those are so new to me!

To see a person with so much energy!

So much passion!

So and so much of owning everything in the world ! 

You amuse me and us ! 

Your energy is so magnetic

We get energised .....

Not far a long!

We could be vampire friends too soon! 

When i found a person who taught me the energy to bond!

Sussh

Not only do you mean a lot to me

So much more than that! 

Its beyond the fact that you have a bigger place in my heart, to even think of replacing you i will need another heart and soul to do that! 

Then i would have to completely change my own self! 

I dont want that ! 

Because not only i dont want to replace you but im happy you are there at every thought at every second!

I dont think i will ever blush at someone and go all pink face when they look at me, like how your eyes pierce through every blood vessel to burst! 

My heart would never skip a beat and freeze me for a second like when you air kiss me good bye, for anyone else.

I couldn’t rhyme anyones heart beat with mine, which i do with yours, very often in my dreams. 

Its the comfort your waves give, when you are around .... i find it too addictive..:.

Our time together so not best, so not longer ....

Yet i find it difficult to let go of you..... and the memory you have given me..... 

being occupied the whole day..

Yet you creep me out at the back of my mind the whole longest day i ever had....

Life will turn out much more beautifull

With memories tingling your blood  flow!

Sussh

Fifty shades of WORK grey

Its painful...

Its disrespectful....

And 

Yeah its not ethical

Well whatever... 

All my life , it was ....

Go this way, you will touch the sky...

Work through this, you will reach the stars

And that thing you are about to choose, oh dear! You are going to lay flat on the sand...... 

if only they had mentioned “the sands of dubai” i would have taken what i wanted......

But yeah ! All this while it was just plain...

Either black or white......

And here i was thinking grey is referred to my grandpa and his hair..(damn! Did i ever think my hair would be red right now?!)

So many colours in real life than you had imagined! 

So many shades! 

You would probably wonder if there is a way out between these grey shaded Work C(v)ultures! 

Nevertheless there are !

Souls who would call you up every now and then,

 just to check if you are okie alright, with yeah the bad situation, they are fed up with too! 

Souls so good to wish you every best and remind you how better you are ! 

And ofcourse there are those souls who talk a whole day just because they know they are not getting paid for it ! 

Yeah! A way out of every snake circling around your leg, is through these sweet little three souls!!! 

You just push yourself for one more step! 

They make you feel its alright and easy to reach for it! 

Real life is hard but cooler than you would think! 

Definitely cooler than....

“Miss, she bit me(sad face emoji) 😜

Sussh

Yet again another one???!

Why this many tattoos?????

Because its painful !

Yeah tattoos are really painful....FYI

And who actually told you.. a doctor is not supposed to have tattoos??

Anyway....

I had my first tattoo 6years back...

Just to hide my scars ... it took me a while to realise its not the scar but the love i wanted to express...

Its an introvert thing about expressing thing....

Once my mother said “unless its the great alexander’s funeral showcase, it doesnt matter who comes to your death”

Alexander is the great king who conquered the world and materials that no one could ever own. He finally realised,its all going to be taken away,in his death bed. He had just three wishes ....

All of those you could find it in google....

What i learnt .... is  .... 

The doctor you are , 

The princess that you are ...

Death is inevitable ....

Take what you can....

Just what you can....

Not anything more .... anything less 

You lived a life time....

With soo much memories 

So much love 

So much scar 

Bury it with dignity 

With everything you love ....

If you think tattoo kills you....

Love kills you even faster ....

Well ofcourse much worser evil kills you very soon....

But 

I live and i live with all the love i want to share...

Im happy for this life ... and everyone i have ever loved ....even after every hurt 

Because love is always there ... never fades .....

I die ... die with everyone i loved .... 

No regrets 

Sussh

Ineffable emotions...

Let your hair down...

The breeze wrapping you in its warmth

Tiny sleazy drops... drop by drop...

Down the soft skin

I could cry a river 

And no one would ever know...

But the warm blanket wrapping me like a wall....

Let your hair down....

There will be a wind ...

To swipe your feet of the floor

Makes you fly like there is no limit....

You smile and then cry ...

And thats the difference happiness brings...

Let your guard down

For there are no emotions like yours 

To break the wall built around you...

Sussh

The long drive that took turns...

Not as great as you would imagine 

Opening up your heart....

That, at some particular age ...

You eventually do it with someone  you meet and fall over....

but opening up your mind ...

Happens very very rare....

Because all the devil in your soul stops you right there....

It just takes one long drive and a better companion ....

Calm quiet and you try to realise how a clutch together with break, works ....

All the way back and forth you keep talking ..... 

talking for seven hours straight ....

Nothing but religion , your identity, every damn little thing that haunts you....

Haunts your identity....

Haunting what you are....

If you just would ever think about it every now and then .....

You would still be not searching for answers....

You are who you are ....

Stop the search ....

Move on ..... just then would you be right where you want to be....

No, 

not by changing yourself.....

Nothing defines who you are....

So.... 

coming back to my long drive....

Driving is my passion....

But how have i not tried this kind of drive ....

I have the answers....

Your passion motivates you ! TRUE THAT! 

But your company enhances it ! 

Deny that! ???

All the answers are right within you..

Stop searching 

Move on...

Just make the questions right! 

Sussh

The bond between satan and I

Oh seriously! Satan ! If thats the word!

Satans disguise .....

And to prove it unethical....

We are long way from,Before Christ.....

Not religious enough to talk it through .....

But in today's world.....

To prove right or wrong.....

The only example of "The Difference" is....

If you are on the other side of the road driving.....

Kid, you get no compensation.....

So suck it up..... its wrong ....

See kids .... 

there are moments you are so angry at your choices.....

But when your day comes....

You would realise ...

And, At that moment,you are not angry anymore with your satan and the choices you make....

You would see who is meant to be....

You might think your only choice is to swallow your anger .....

And float it up their faces.....

There is another option....

You could just 

LET IT GO......

And only when you do it ....

It will be gone and you could move forward...

That kids....

Would be an end ......

An end to all disguise you swallow... to realise.....

Satans are disguisable......

Either pray or be prey...

Sussh

After Nepal...

Did I so much soon enter the real world ??

Yeah .... 

just after my graduation ....

Life is much after than your true love...

So much after all the pampering ....

The luxury .....

So much beyond ....

It will be like scratch from a penny.....

Just not how you imagine ....

Just not what you have enjoyed....

Like the coffee out of bed ....

The hot steamy water, flowing down your soft hair ....

Breakfast that you dont get to break your brain on.....

The car thats, all ready  without clicking 'ride now' .....

So so much beyond all these luxury .....

So much as starting your day dwelling your hands in cold water, with aluminium....

Washing your dry skin in cold ice water.... 

riding, covered like one of the masked men to kill someone.... 

god help you, to keep your eyes open in the middle of the night watching people suffer ..... 

bunk classes to travel somewhere to earn your fuel money....

Life is much more than those luxury

And much much more than what you have suffered ....

But my dear ....

Life pays you back ..... 

Back With a smile

And with gratitude ....

After all,

All of this has been for something that you deserve.

Sussh

So much love wasted

You were supposed to be my

Warm breezy blanket...

And Im your blossoming petal in autumn...

Because at every fall....

When all the leaves ruffle and wither...

I would be your violet flower....

So unfair.....

All this love is wasted ....

When my words just lay dry and brown 

Waiting for the sky to pour it down....

Its been a long summer 

And a very long autumn....

With all the gloomy shine I embrace my lips at dawn ....

Through dusk, pour all my fears in a glass....

I wish to survive .....

Survive to dance in the rain ....

Buried under the snow as cold as my heart is ....

After all, A heart wants what it wants

Sussh

AMUTHA

"VAZHVIN AMIRTHAM" ("who made me live") 

A very challenging,intense, courageous and out of your imagination, extremely outrageous! 

She would challenge you, like the asteroid, who could never strike our earth.....at any face of a destroyer ....

And that my friend ........

 are the meaning, of,  AMUTHA.

For Me ...

She wouldn't fight for you,

but 

Stand by you..... 

At all darkness....

At all wars of life..... and 

if truth Stays buried....

And 

Some heart cries for help..........

there,

She will be,

 just beside you.....

That support ....

It will .... 

trust me .....

It Will push you ......

Soo far 

and that ....

Just those words, beside you....

Will make you achieve more and more......

Just beyond what you have wished ......

Beyond what you are capable of......

And,...

just like that ....

She pushed me , further than I would !

A Mentor, she was....

Mentored the right and wrong,....

Taught me ....

For all the wrong in the world to be safe from.....

Following...every word beside every gear I drove .....

10schools and two medical university 

Trust me, travelling so far and finally, coming to a HEART SO CONSOLING, COMFORTING AND AS A MOM, was a true blessing, 

I WOULD CHERISH.....

 FOR LIFE......

Akshaya ne phele mila tho( if only i had her before).......

And just like that .....

If only 

Had I been hers and ....

A daughter......

And thats how you, just blindly follow their words.....

STAY STAFE AND BE Connected 😍

Mother's love never resides to another child ....

Your child who writes anonymously,

Susshmitha Ramesh 

It wouldnt have been the end of the world!

So we would have struggled a little more harder to survive....

Little more sober and 

The coutless sleepless nights......

Lived a terrible nightmare!

Dont we all live for something that would make our hearts, skip a beat and die in that tiny little happiness???

It would definitely never be the end of the world!

Life would never and forever get better 

Just postponing things till you are ready!

Take the risk ..... ( and God forbid if i had, ever heard your voice)

Sulk in the pain .....( only if you had chosen  the road not taken!)

Live with the scar.......( for,it will teach you not to trust and be happy)...

So what .....

Life would have been cruel....

but if it isn't worth just all of it ....

Would your world end ..... still! ???

When you live to see that tiny lip smile at you 

Could it end your world...?

Sussh

Kaanalneer - stencilling to my heart word

Mirage! 

Thats the meaning of the most beautiful word i have heard in tamil!

It stricks a bell with thousand stars shinning on my eyes! 

We all live in a world of mirage!

But there is this story!

Of a golden fish!

(Golden fish because its short-lived! )

It swam across a million ocean of hearts! 

Very quietly and yet mischievously.....

Mischievous in its own way.....

But it wanted to breathe ....

Breathe some air......

Fluttered its way....

Its dark dark black eyes yearning some air.....

Jumped up so high .....

Touching all the stars ....

Shinning its way down ....

My gills smelled your fresh air......

Stopped my heart a beat!

Still landed ......

Landed in your ocean ....

A Mirage.....

(Kaanalneer ......)

Could i ever blame the storming Sun on me ! 

I would never blame ....

But every time i would forgive myself .....

Because

Your redolence gave my after life.....

I would still flutter and wiggle ..... 

For I'm out of gills.....

Evolution would still make me survive! 

There might be plenty of fish in the ocean....

But.... it takes just one,to jump out of all ....

My Darwin's theory

Sussh

Your dark glowing eyes

Is it dark brown or light black ?

I dont know ! Whats so taunting and disturbing!

Disturbing everytime when it glows in your smile! 

Disturbing whenever it glows amidst every rain!

The value I put on you, who looks into the eye for every conversation with me! Is totally worth all the risk! 

All the pain!

Especially All the scar!

Because from the day i knew you, i just know what i was looking into! 

It was not the laughter, not the smile when you see me, but something thats not explainable!

Genuine!

And i would know whenever you look away from me and tell me anything with a smile! 

If its a lie that you fool your heart with! Or just the world is too cruel for your truth! 

Trust your eyes that someone seeks!

They know! And I know ......

Because there is nothing you could tell me that your eyes doesnt! 

And nothing, that your eyes does!

Your eyes talks more than your heart does,

To me

Sussh