Sunday, January 28, 2018

Are you done with your grieving?


An apology for a blog ....

That has nothing to do with what i know  ....

Because i have no idea how to grieve...

What is grieving??.... 

do you attend a funeral and start crying??

Is that it????

Im sorry i have never done that...

Not the crying part.....

but the funeral part ...

Because i have attended one funeral in 27years.... and just once....

and im so and bloody so old .... it was my grandmother’s when i was 8years old

How sorry I’ am to not have cried ..... i was too young even to be fine with that ...

That woman who taught me something i will never stop doing.... 

she once told me “never talk to yourself, im there if you need someone to talk to” 

Yes ....

thats all I remember of that lady who took me up, just after i was born ..... 

Nevertheless,....

’after that unfortunate fate of mine i have never attended one more funeral .....

Should you be attending funerals to know how to learn to cry exactly after you loose something precious in your life ????

Is that what life teaches you after all??? Death?????

What if you want to live without having any such experience .....

and one fine day you find out ....

After you pushed everyone out of your life ....

Just EVERYONE....

Out of grieving......

Then ....:

You find you did push everyone out of grieve.... and you think they would ofcourse understand????

Jokes on you ...

Yet to live is the hardest part of life .....

With all your acquaintances betraying you ......

And you still want to live ..

To live .... is the greatest part of all emotions......

Because a bad phase in life is still a bad phase that you choose to handle it alone .....

Is that what grieving is ?????

You crying to yourself ????

If you think thats what grieving is all about ......

My friend ...... its not that .....

Survive beyond your will......

However hard it may be .......

Because you survived this long .......

Shouldn’t you throw everyone...

Who doesnt care and move on .....

Grieving is all about who is there ...

Beyond grave ......

Beyond everything.....

Just follow the music ....

Of life ...... 

and you are fine .....

Sussh 


Friday, November 24, 2017

Respect is just a fancy label for love

My dad, a heavy headed man, who weighs his living so much on “respect” ...

You cannot just put your arms around his shoulder and call him “Ramesh”

You have to equally be at his level of thoughts, amicable that is, so so down to earth with pride and love, to be able to stand near him!

As a child I used to think ... isn’t that just absurd....

Then I grew up....

I grew up to be just like him.....

Yeah i regret to be short-tempered like him ....

Yet even with everything else i crowned myself with that pride too....

I realised.... only  people with the same level of pride self-respect and beyond that, who knew how to respect others as they expect to be treated .... could be closer ....

And thats respect ....

Not any suffix you add to show who is above you....

Respect evolves....

Evolves in your heart....

To others .... 

till it reaches everyone.....

Because, oh dear! You can never be above anyone as long as they, let you to be.....

Dont take that for granted.....


Respect if not reciprocated..

Is rather not earned....

Sussh


Thursday, November 16, 2017

A week without your voice

Its been a week


And not to hear from you ....

I realise just how bad im at not calling or being in touch!

When your name pops up ....

I know im not going anywhere for an hour 

Because even that is not enough!

I hate calling

I hate talking so much!

But you taught us how much words move someone! 

Of all the calls i get and talk out of boredom! Of all the calls i miss purposely! 

You make it all stand out, in teaching me  how to talk and be rich in words ....

Be diplomatic! 

Because all those are so new to me!

To see a person with so much energy!

So much passion!

So and so much of owning everything in the world ! 

You amuse me and us ! 

Your energy is so magnetic

We get energised .....

Not far a long!

We could be vampire friends too soon! 


When i found a person who taught me the energy to bond!

Sussh

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Not only do you mean a lot to me

So much more than that! 

Its beyond the fact that you have a bigger place in my heart, to even think of replacing you i will need another heart and soul to do that! 

Then i would have to completely change my own self! 

I dont want that ! 

Because not only i dont want to replace you but im happy you are there at every thought at every second!

I dont think i will ever blush at someone and go all pink face when they look at me, like how your eyes pierce through every blood vessel to burst! 

My heart would never skip a beat and freeze me for a second like when you air kiss me good bye, for anyone else.

I couldn’t rhyme anyones heart beat with mine, which i do with yours, very often in my dreams. 

Its the comfort your waves give, when you are around .... i find it too addictive..:.

Our time together so not best, so not longer ....

Yet i find it difficult to let go of you..... and the memory you have given me..... 

being occupied the whole day..

Yet you creep me out at the back of my mind the whole longest day i ever had....


Life will turn out much more beautifull

With memories tingling your blood  flow!

Sussh

Friday, November 10, 2017

Fifty shades of WORK grey


Its painful...

Its disrespectful....

And 

Yeah its not ethical

Well whatever... 

All my life , it was ....

Go this way, you will touch the sky...

Work through this, you will reach the stars

And that thing you are about to choose, oh dear! You are going to lay flat on the sand...... 

if only they had mentioned “the sands of dubai” i would have taken what i wanted......

But yeah ! All this while it was just plain...

Either black or white......

And here i was thinking grey is referred to my grandpa and his hair..(damn! Did i ever think my hair would be red right now?!)

So many colours in real life than you had imagined! 

So many shades! 

You would probably wonder if there is a way out between these grey shaded Work C(v)ultures! 

Nevertheless there are !

Souls who would call you up every now and then,

 just to check if you are okie alright, with yeah the bad situation, they are fed up with too! 

Souls so good to wish you every best and remind you how better you are ! 

And ofcourse there are those souls who talk a whole day just because they know they are not getting paid for it ! 

Yeah! A way out of every snake circling around your leg, is through these sweet little three souls!!! 

You just push yourself for one more step! 

They make you feel its alright and easy to reach for it! 


Real life is hard but cooler than you would think! 

Definitely cooler than....

“Miss, she bit me(sad face emoji) 😜

Sussh

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Yet again another one???!

Why this many tattoos?????


Because its painful !

Yeah tattoos are really painful....FYI

And who actually told you.. a doctor is not supposed to have tattoos??

Anyway....

I had my first tattoo 6years back...

Just to hide my scars ... it took me a while to realise its not the scar but the love i wanted to express...

Its an introvert thing about expressing thing....

Once my mother said “unless its the great alexander’s funeral showcase, it doesnt matter who comes to your death”

Alexander is the great king who conquered the world and materials that no one could ever own. He finally realised,its all going to be taken away,in his death bed. He had just three wishes ....

All of those you could find it in google....

What i learnt .... is  .... 

The doctor you are , 

The princess that you are ...

Death is inevitable ....

Take what you can....

Just what you can....

Not anything more .... anything less 

You lived a life time....

With soo much memories 

So much love 

So much scar 

Bury it with dignity 

With everything you love ....

If you think tattoo kills you....

Love kills you even faster ....

Well ofcourse much worser evil kills you very soon....

But 

I live and i live with all the love i want to share...

Im happy for this life ... and everyone i have ever loved ....even after every hurt 

Because love is always there ... never fades .....

I die ... die with everyone i loved .... 


No regrets 

Sussh


Thursday, October 5, 2017

Ineffable emotions...


Let your hair down...

The breeze wrapping you in its warmth

Tiny sleazy drops... drop by drop...

Down the soft skin

I could cry a river 

And no one would ever know...

But the warm blanket wrapping me like a wall....


Let your hair down....

There will be a wind ...

To swipe your feet of the floor

Makes you fly like there is no limit....


You smile and then cry ...

And thats the difference happiness brings...


Let your guard down

For there are no emotions like yours 

To break the wall built around you...

Sussh