Heart: Im scared!

 : when?

Heart: all the time! 

 : of what?

Heart: of everything!!!

Heart: I’m scared of everything.

The morning sunshine glooming deep into her dark room!

Someone bringing coffee to her bed!

Anyone’s face outside her room;

Everyone’s sweet “Hellos” behind her neck.

An adorable dog’s sudden jolt! 

The phone on vibrate, I scare her nerves.

The phone on loud, I scare all of her.

The warm breeze through her ears!

The silence that follows around her.

The loud music jazzing all of a sudden.

Someone starring into her eyes, i jump out like a frog!

Alot of them circling her, I literally see through her chest.

The day doesn’t stop,

And comes the night!

The light at the end of a road, 

Leaves rustling in the dark;

Birds chirping around her

Crickets with their snore!

I don’t stop!

So she doesn’t stop.

I scare her with the guard she builds up and high around her! 

And I frighten her to breathlessness when she lets the guard down!

Again and again and again!!!!!

 : there has to be some way through this!

Heart: there is!! 

A heart that is used to being scared all the time! Yeah! Thats how it learns and knows how to be and stay, strong!

She is used to me, beating faster at every chance! 

It drives her to the impossible!

It gives her everything she wants!

 

One day, she will be scared of nothing! 

~sussh

Do you love me?!

Well, 

How do you know if someone loves you enough?

Is it just a “His&Her” thing?!

A soulmate?

Or just i-am-not-so-sober sister I love you!!!

A best friend not spoken for years(but, darn you know you love her!)

Or mom i miss you

And dad stop over protecting!(or whatever dads do!!)

Tricky! Or not!

Its a word like compass for a wanderlust like me!

Encouraging your soul! To never let go down.

A smile to remind your eyes, they are beautiful!

Above all! Its that message she treasured for 4.3years!?

Do You know what you survived through those years! 

Because, I know!

Many earthquakes, so many soul-crunching earthquakes! Flood and storm, well at the least, the flood and storm literally happened, in chennai! And i survived all of them! While she kept, few words along with my heart and all the emotions surrounding those words! Made sure to never give up, through those years!

You never know! But you find love in the least of the places you look, because its there, alright! Just by your side! Every-darn-day! 

Love is so many things!

So many people!

You just have to appreciate it more than you look elsewhere! 

Sussh!

Smile at him

 She ran towards me!

Wished me “have a great weekend”

Astonished at her 

I turned to wish her back!

I did have a great weekend!

He smiled at me ! 

I smiled back!

He said “have a great day”

And I did!

She said “cheers” 

I did too!

Well! He sat near me!

Instinctively scared but willingly shared a bucket!

Overwhelming and what not!

All different people! Different world! 

Together they wish good when they smile for a better day!

The minute i let myself out of my own doom,

The whole country wishes me luck !

How did i grow up not to!??

How did i not smile at strangers in the road more often?!

Why should your life be a four walled world?! By yourself?!

It isnt that scary!

Nobody is that threatening!!

You can smile at anyone !

And your day and more 

Gets positively ahead of you!

Smile at him!

More often than you wish!

Sussh!

Whats work if its not about money?

Struggling through skirts and shorts to pants and suit, we did finally reach a stage in our life where our name could precede with our talent. 

Instead we have run so far with our heads down in setting up alarm to wake up and a reminder to sleep,

We have perfected our life into a schedule, 

Even a time machine would be disappointed to go back.

We have forgotten to set aside tiny little hours of the day for ourselves just so we could imprison ourself to a tiny space, conceptualising everything and everyone is at our arms end.

Infact, the truth is someone sitting beside you, feel a lot afar because you couldn't take your eyes of me ( duh! your mobile screen 😋) 

Finally being in a place to compose your talent and to acknowledge them shouldn't be such a struggle. 

Because it's our job to see noobody is felt, not left, alone,

And not everybody has to go to Howard for superpowers. They are just born with them. Yet, We just choose to stay in our bubble.

Who knew he could win your heart with a smile; just like how she could talk so fearlessly at the same time.

If she could make THE loudest whistle, he could pout into a perfect picture.

She breaks all stereotype to be the fastest racer and so, he brings you the most delicious meal on table. 

That special talent/ that superpower is there, amongst us, every individual will surprise you, might that be words, action, or as simple as a soft look and smile on their face. It shouldn't be so hard to get to know them.

Somewhere down the road, we forgot to appreciate ourself, the person right next to us, that person who puts an effort to knows us more. 

So tell me, working through bottoms up for higher denomination on a piece of paper...

Let's you lick the Liberty Bell??

Crash ghost parties at St.Cathedral's

Or better yet a dream wedding in the white marble house of india???

Nope.

And, yes, I will tell you 

"What is work if it's not about money"

its all the craziest things you get to do with people right beside you,

It's how much you tend to miss everyday to bring happiness inside yourself and your life.

 

Of all the things 

It's a constant reminder that even on a worst day, there will always be something along the way with brighter joy.

Its about time

Sussh

Are you done with your grieving?

An apology for a blog ....

That has nothing to do with what i know  ....

Because i have no idea how to grieve...

What is grieving??.... 

do you attend a funeral and start crying??

Is that it????

Im sorry i have never done that...

Not the crying part.....

but the funeral part ...

Because i have attended one funeral in 27years.... and just once....

and im so and bloody so old .... it was my grandmother’s when i was 8years old

How sorry I’ am to not have cried ..... i was too young even to be fine with that ...

That woman who taught me something i will never stop doing.... 

she once told me “never talk to yourself, im there if you need someone to talk to” 

Yes ....

thats all I remember of that lady who took me up, just after i was born ..... 

Nevertheless,....

’after that unfortunate fate of mine i have never attended one more funeral .....

Should you be attending funerals to know how to learn to cry exactly after you loose something precious in your life ????

Is that what life teaches you after all??? Death?????

What if you want to live without having any such experience .....

and one fine day you find out ....

After you pushed everyone out of your life ....

Just EVERYONE....

Out of grieving......

Then ....:

You find you did push everyone out of grieve.... and you think they would ofcourse understand????

Jokes on you ...

Yet to live is the hardest part of life .....

With all your acquaintances betraying you ......

And you still want to live ..

To live .... is the greatest part of all emotions......

Because a bad phase in life is still a bad phase that you choose to handle it alone .....

Is that what grieving is ?????

You crying to yourself ????

If you think thats what grieving is all about ......

My friend ...... its not that .....

Survive beyond your will......

However hard it may be .......

Because you survived this long .......

Shouldn’t you throw everyone...

Who doesnt care and move on .....

Grieving is all about who is there ...

Beyond grave ......

Beyond everything.....

Just follow the music ....

Of life ...... 

and you are fine .....

Sussh 

Respect is just a fancy label for love

My dad, a heavy headed man, who weighs his living so much on “respect” ...

You cannot just put your arms around his shoulder and call him “Ramesh”

You have to equally be at his level of thoughts, amicable that is, so so down to earth with pride and love, to be able to stand near him!

As a child I used to think ... isn’t that just absurd....

Then I grew up....

I grew up to be just like him.....

Yeah i regret to be short-tempered like him ....

Yet even with everything else i crowned myself with that pride too....

I realised.... only  people with the same level of pride self-respect and beyond that, who knew how to respect others as they expect to be treated .... could be closer ....

And thats respect ....

Not any suffix you add to show who is above you....

Respect evolves....

Evolves in your heart....

To others .... 

till it reaches everyone.....

Because, oh dear! You can never be above anyone as long as they, let you to be.....

Dont take that for granted.....

Respect if not reciprocated..

Is rather not earned....

Sussh

A week without your voice

Its been a week

And not to hear from you ....

I realise just how bad im at not calling or being in touch!

When your name pops up ....

I know im not going anywhere for an hour 

Because even that is not enough!

I hate calling

I hate talking so much!

But you taught us how much words move someone! 

Of all the calls i get and talk out of boredom! Of all the calls i miss purposely! 

You make it all stand out, in teaching me  how to talk and be rich in words ....

Be diplomatic! 

Because all those are so new to me!

To see a person with so much energy!

So much passion!

So and so much of owning everything in the world ! 

You amuse me and us ! 

Your energy is so magnetic

We get energised .....

Not far a long!

We could be vampire friends too soon! 

When i found a person who taught me the energy to bond!

Sussh