Standing under your shadow

Being weak is the only option you want! 

Yet, with the burning rage in the midst of a forest, how could you crumble down on your knee?!

Its very hard to define my bad day! 

I could make my coffee too bitter, have a wonderful start and drink too much of it to make the rest of my day a horrible drunken mess!

Your bad day is still yours to make it, messier than life by itself!

You are allowed! 

To be frustratingly broken in the corner of a toilet!

To be flushing down and grunting into your pillow! 

You are not expected to take every stone pelted upon, in silence!

Breaking down once in awhile is okay!

Because at the end of a bad day comes a worser one! 

With bad days comes a strength that you will endure like a sculpture for the rest of the days, months and beyond years! 

The strength comes from the tears rolling inspite of efforts! 

The weak smile that the world imposed on you!

The break of a piece of your heart in every silence!

The words with no meaning that you utter in despair! 

Take the break you deserve!

There is always the next step awaiting!

Don’t believe, time will make things better!

Don’t believe, a man in a metal mask or an angel with feathered wings will make a difference in your world!

Believe in YOUR next step! 

However mundane!

However uncertain!

Make the effort to believe 

You will make the next cup of coffee just bitter and just enough! 

It’s fine to be weak!

Getting ready to be unbreakable 

Is what that comes after! 

~Sussh

Everything is fucked

A book about hope!

By Mark Manson.

Apart from the catchy title, this young girl,(well at 30, I just assume everyone is younger) who had this book and it was like its the only solution to life for her and it has everything she needs in this world. With such passion and her eyes fixated, she held on to the book strong more than she could stand still on the bus!!!

Iam passionate about books/novels too!  

A novel on how to kill your husband/boyfriend!! 

Or if there is a cloak of invisibility in real life! 

Well...... I mean, you get the idea!!!! 

But being unaware of everything, sinking into words like its the only row of a boat left! 

Someday, i want that! Even if its not words! 

Sometimes, everything is indeed immensely distraught, that you could only imagine holding on to something strong and if you love with all your heart, then you hit THE jackpot! 

But who is to say? Whats it all worth for? 

Or who is worth all the charades?

Someone not afraid to endure you! 

Someone who is strong enough to fight all the battles alongside you!

Someone always on feet to sweep you off yours from the ground!! 

And yes! It all comes down to the things you keep imagining thats yet to come! 

So indeed “Everything is of course F*****”

Nevertheless......

With A hope, that the next day will be better and the strength it brings for you!

A hope that next time it wont hurt you much after-all!

And at the next sunrise you will end up at the end of the world where everything begins! 

Every new beginning is at the end of something that was painful! 

Its worth to hold on to the book! 

~sussh~

I have been fatshamed

She: Just a little bit around your hip darling!

Me: okie mom!

Him: oh! Your chubby cheeks! Turns me on!

Me: okie honey!

Someone: come on! You wouldn't look good thinner!

Me: okie!

Again someone: Nah! You look good fat and chubby!

Me: Again okie!

Inside me: No. No. No. And NO (all in caps)

No beautiful isn't how she looks

It isn't in how you feel she looks

And NO not how you think she would look like!

Let her be whoever she is !

Every girl has been body shamed!

Awfully body shamed.

Because i thought fat shaming was the only thing throughout my life, until i met a girl who said "God! I wish i had your body"

When i have been shamed and down digged of my body my whole life.

Made me feel, what did she go through?!

What could have she gone through to have said she wanted someone else's body?!

She wants her soul! She wants her mind! She is proud of her attitude! She would want to destroy you to ashes! But she wants to do it in another body!

Because the world around her made her feel insufficient!

Insufficient that she thought you were actually by her side!

While all you could do is call her body as her BODY!

All the while you could have seen her for her achievements!

Her intellectual!

Her crown!

But Noo!

You did more than that!

you saw her as a tiny little defect!

Something to correct on her!

But its okie honey! She grows out of it too soon for your maturity to outgrow them!

She conquers!

~Sussh!

Oh boy! Should you put more effort!

Walking along the road with houses dressed in tinkling lights! Green! Red! And oh! Ho! White and blue!!

People climb roofs in this snow filled nights, just so they let Santa know they are ready! 

So ready and awaiting!

Its not about a religion or the region!

Its about the celebration in a long waited year! 

People work hard through the year for this one holiday! And get rewarded much nicely! 

They make people cross their house with a smile! They shed light to the starless night! 

What more? Oh and the pictures! So beautiful pictures of all the lights! 

Being happy is a choice! Making an effort is the only way around it!

Make tiny little effort! 

Open the door and let them smile at you!

Wink at the baby, and listen to an adorable giggle!

Give up your seat for the gentleman, hear him praise you “you are a lot younger than you think, Darling!”

Tell them to have good night! And a great day!!! 

Seeing someone smile for you 

And listening to someone “thank you” for such a minuscule thing could brighten your day more than you think!!!!

Just like the Christmas lights, the trees, the decorations!!!!! Its a choice! Make little effort for that beautiful choice!!!! You can never go wrong when it comes to choosing happiness over every other miracles! 

Be part of a smile in someone’s day!

Let the celebration begin with you, coming year!!!!

~Sussh

Close to “Biological clock”

Well, they say a woman reaching her biological clock! is very dangerous!!!

Who are “They” ??? And what biology??

Technically! Its not her “age” that makes her “dangerous” but her “determination”

Determination to get out of a bubble! Even if its built to a castle!

Reach her limits to achieve things on her own! Even if its not great things! 

Who is to say! What she should be, by now! 

An outlaw in life!

A templated version set for herself!

She could be anything! 

She could be a mother by 25 and start to find herself from scratch.

She could be a lady at 40 unravelling her treasured dream!

She could turn 60 to chase butterflies in a tulip garden! 

A woman always dangerously beautiful in her love, with her pride, adorning herself in a circle so small, she makes a home at almost every place she puts her foot down! 

At every dawn, her heart and eyes is fixed on a price, so preciously she shines! So proudly she bears it on her! is her smile for you and her laughter thats infectious just because you let her be, who she wants to be! 

Time is for the sun and moon to set!

Does it have to be a leash on how to live her life??

~Sussh

Finishing an amazing love story!

The sigh after you finish a novel! A very long big fat novel!

And when the ending is as amazing as the clear blue sky or as white blanket snow! Just amazing!

The Longest Ride! By Nicholas Spark

Just one of the novel, where you find yourself roaming inside the book. Walking along with the characters. 

Its about two love tales, that happens around two different time period. 

I found myself getting old with the guy(Ira) who fought in world war II, breaking himself to fight for his nation and his people; came back loosing everything he had, his energy to love another person, his life to move forward and his dream that he owed it for someone. 

And I found myself turning young with this girl who was head on heels in love with a sweet stubborn cowboy! 

(I know, it doesn’t make sense for anyone, except for those who have read it)

The notion of how “Happy endings are only for a book or a movie or a fairy tale” is not so true. 

To me its all the little things that can give you a happy ending to that phase of your life. There are no endings to your life! Well! There is the inevitable! Lets not go that far!!

Like how holding hands, with that one person who means a lot, sitting in front of a lake could mean the only thing you need right now!

How writing few words for them to see, at a worst possible grief is the only thing that would make them breathe through this day!

Just being near to each other with the company of pure silence and harmonising each other’s heart beat together is all anyone needs at anytime of their life.

Bruised and crushed, shivering to thirst, your only hope is the sunrise, you wait till then, for a hand to reach you and lets you pick up from where you left. 

Little or not, every word, even the smile from a distant, a sweet gesture so tiny but that sure as hell assures you,  that there is the thing called “next day” is all that matters. 

Life isn’t complete ever, you just wait, hold on, climb up higher. There will be always, that one person, to smile in their heart for you to shine brighter!

Oh! All this, I'm not making it up, at all!!!! 

Its all in the book i read!!!!! 

Not a hidden kind of meaning blog!!!!

Sweet little things in life is the biggest gift you can give back!

~Sussh! 

Heart: Im scared!

 : when?

Heart: all the time! 

 : of what?

Heart: of everything!!!

Heart: I’m scared of everything.

The morning sunshine glooming deep into her dark room!

Someone bringing coffee to her bed!

Anyone’s face outside her room;

Everyone’s sweet “Hellos” behind her neck.

An adorable dog’s sudden jolt! 

The phone on vibrate, I scare her nerves.

The phone on loud, I scare all of her.

The warm breeze through her ears!

The silence that follows around her.

The loud music jazzing all of a sudden.

Someone starring into her eyes, i jump out like a frog!

Alot of them circling her, I literally see through her chest.

The day doesn’t stop,

And comes the night!

The light at the end of a road, 

Leaves rustling in the dark;

Birds chirping around her

Crickets with their snore!

I don’t stop!

So she doesn’t stop.

I scare her with the guard she builds up and high around her! 

And I frighten her to breathlessness when she lets the guard down!

Again and again and again!!!!!

 : there has to be some way through this!

Heart: there is!! 

A heart that is used to being scared all the time! Yeah! Thats how it learns and knows how to be and stay, strong!

She is used to me, beating faster at every chance! 

It drives her to the impossible!

It gives her everything she wants!

 

One day, she will be scared of nothing! 

~sussh